The only chickens I like:
Chickens are nasty, evil creatures.
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I’m talking about my nieces this week. Next up is Katie. Katie is P.O.D.’s second daughter.  Curly Katie I met Katie minutes after she was born. Truthfully, I accidentally saw her being born. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Course. I wasn’t the one giving birth so what do I know? I was the second, maybe third person to hold Katie. She was all bundled up in a receiving blanket. All you could see was her face. Oh! What a face! Katie had the most perfect rosebud lips you have ever seen. She was like a princess out of a fairy tale. I was mesmerized. Of course, I fell in love. P.O.D. had to make me hand her over. It didn’t occur to me to let other family members hold Katie. What? I thought you knew. It’s not in my nature to share. Write that down. You may need it again someday.  Camping Katie As you know, by the time Katie was born, I was pretty much reconciled that having my own children wasn’t in my future. At least, not without medical intervention. (I later learned that it would take some heavy duty medical intervention if I wanted kids. That’s a story for a different day.) Back to my Katie Bug.  Mean Marie & Katie Katie was a sweet baby. She didn’t cry very much. Even as a toddler, Katie didn’t throw many temper tantrums. She just did what she wanted to do regardless of what you wanted her to do. If anyone cried it was the adult, in frustration. Katie is still stubborn. I bet she always will be. I have NO idea where she gets that. *whistles* Katie also has an awesome sense of humor. She is hilarious. The thing is, Katie doesn’t realize she’s being funny til she cracks you up.  Vogue Katie Don’t tell her I said that. What? Katie reads this blog? No Oh. Well. Katie, my love, you are precious to my heart. I can’t imagine a world without you. Even though: You have rosebud lips and I want rosebud lips. You are hilariously funny and I love funny. You have beautiful brown eyes. You want my Addison ‘when I’m done with her’. Katie is a sweetheart. I am crazy mad for her. She is a darling child with a sharp mind. I hope she grows up to be assured of her intelligence, her beauty and her heart. I love you Katie Bug!  Close Up Katie I’m talking about my nieces this week. Although they are crazy special to me, I haven’t talked much about them here at meanmarie.com. Not that I don’t want to talk about them. I do. I just didn’t have P.O.D.’s permission before now. So I’m talking about them In birth order so no one thinks I’m picking on er ah showing favoritism to any one niece.  Big Daddy and 'No White Kinsley P.O.D.’s first child is Kinsley. Kinsley and I met a week after her birth. I was out of town for work when she was born. It was Not My Fault.  Diva Kinsley From the first second that I held Kinsley in my arms, I knew she would be mine forever. I totally bonded with her. I couldn’t not love her. I just couldn’t. Let me wipe the tears from my eyes. Have a cupcake. I’ll be a minute. *sniffle* You see, I don’t have children. When Kinsley was born, I really wanted a child of my own. I had updated all my immunizations in preparation for pregnancy and a month before Kinsley’s birth I learned that I would need fertility treatments if I wanted children. I had decided against that route and somewhere inside I knew that I wouldn’t ever hold my own baby in my arms. Before you get all poor Mean Marie on my behalf, it isn’t necessary. First of all, I’m MEAN Marie. It’s probably best. Second of all, I’m content with my life and my childless state. Here, have a brownie, you’ll feel better. My point here is that holding Kinsley was a salve to my childless heart. If I were a comedienne, I’d say that Kinsley cured me from wanting children. Funny, right? Well, I think it’s funny. I’m laughing. No need to be all stuffed up and serious. Live a little. Giggle! I’ll help you. *giggle* See how easy it is? Now you try. I’ll wait. While I’m waiting, I think I’ll have a cookie. Anyway. Holding Kinsley and falling in love with her made me realize that God had sent me a precious gift. If I didn’t let bitterness and hurt wash over me, I could know the love of a child. Luckily, my brother, P.O.D., has always been willing to share his children. I love them mightily and I think they love me too.  Katie, Mean Marie & Kinsley Not many months after Kinsley was born, my sister, B.J. died. I held Kinsley at B.J.’s memorial service and she comforted me so. It’s amazing how a child can ease the pain of loss. Over the years Kinsley and I have had a lot of fun together. She’s a beautiful person. Inside and out.  Kinsley Wins Crazy Hair Competition I love her even though she says things like: “When I get hungry and it isn’t time to eat, I just tell myself that I’m not really hungry and I’m not.” and “Look Aunt Annmarie! When I lie on the floor, my tummy touches the floor.” and “Can I have your ring when you don’t need it anymore?” Yeah. It’s hard having a gorgeous niece that isn’t ever hungry and has a good eye for fine jewelry. I forgive her for being blond haired and blue eyed with long legs. What I want for both my nieces is that they know that they have unconditional love. I want them to rely on their brains not their looks. I want them to grow into healthy, well adjusted women. I want them to be little girls for as long as they can because being grown up isn’t nearly as much fun.  Kinsley Kinsley, I love you and hope that your life is filled with everything good. Like ice cream. Ice cream is good. Love is like a butterfly Remember the series, Dolly!? With Dolly Parton? I can’t believe you needed me to tell you Dolly’s last name. Everyone should know that when I say Dolly, I mean Dolly Parton. Good grief! Anyway. Remember the series, Dolly!? It aired in 1976 and 1977. It was a musical variety show. I watched it. I loved Dolly. Actually, I still do. The theme music to Dolly! was Love Is Like a Butterfly. I love that song. I sang it every time I wore this:  Mean Marie Snaggle Toothed Before:  Mean Marie After:  Katie in Mean Marie Dress Before:  Mean Marie After: Kinsley in Mean Marie Dress Mean Marie’s every day clothes were used by Katie and Kinsley as dress up play clothes. Except this one: This one wasn’t used for play clothes because Mean Marie hid it. Hid it so well Mean Marie can’t find it. Now Katie and Kinsley are trying to talk me out of my good jewelry. If they can’t have it now, can they have it when I ‘don’t need it anymore’? Which is a nice way of saying they want it when I’m dead. I wasn’t nice about asking my granny if I could have her figurines when she died. I just said, “Granny, can I have these when you die?” Guess what? I didn’t get them. Maybe Kinsley and Katie’s method will work better for them. Maybe when I ‘don’t need the jewelry anymore’ they’ll get it. Or. Maybe I’ll donate it to science. At Big Daddy’s 75th birthday Kinsley asked me why she and Katie aren’t ever on my blog. So. Here they are. On my blog. *grins* I know the girls are expecting me to put up current pictures. Pictures of them as they are today. A Fashionista and a Comedienne. I don’t have any current pictures of the girls without me being in them. I would rather pull out my fingernails by the roots than post a current picture of myself. More, later this week, about my girls. Just wait.
This shows me he really trusts me. I trust him too. I trust him to come running every time I open a can. It doesn’t matter what is in the can. The sound of the can opener being used is like a sirens call to Kitty Chesney. This is a long post. It is a serious post. Probably a boring post. Just remember, YOU asked for this post. I am a big advocate of debt free living. If I don’t have the cash to pay for it right then, I don’t buy it. Seriously. Hard to believe, huh? I am totally indulgent and yet I believe in being debt free. Lower your eyebrows. It’s not THAT hard to believe. I think the only thing anyone should finance is a home. If you do finance a home, I would recommend that your house payment should not exceed one week’s net income. If your monthly payment is more than one week’s net income, you’re gonna incur other debt too. You, my friend, are living beyond your means. Hey! Don’t blame me! I’m just the messenger. I learned that tip from the Sweet Mortgage Dude that helped me when I decided I wanted to buy my first home. He said he’d give me a home loan with a monthly payment of two weeks net income but he didn’t recommend I take him up on that offer. I listened to his advice and I’m glad I did. If you don’t want to trust me, trust Sweet Mortgage Dude. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not all smart and fiscally responsible. Well. I wasn’t always. I try really hard to be now. I didn’t always live debt free. I had credit card debt. It kept me up at night worrying. Credit cards can be evil little boogers. I also had student loans. Lots of debt in student loans. I resented those loans. How did I pay off my debt? I did a lot of things. Self control type things. Painful things. Things you may consider crazy. Let me say this again. I’m debt free. Who’s crazy now? First, I used my tax refunds to pay off the student loans. Instead of buying a big screen tv or a new computer, I just handed the refund over to the student loan people. It took a couple of years but it was worth it. I think we both were relieved. (The student loan people are thin skinned and have no sense of humor. I was angry that they got my tax refund. They were angry that I called them whoremongers, thieves and meanies.) Second, I lived without cable or satellite tv for four years. Did so! I had RABBIT EARS. It didn’t kill me. It won’t kill you either. Books are better for you and you can borrow them from the library for FREE. Also, nowadays you can watch most of your tv shows online. Speaking of books. For 10 years I didn’t buy books. I had to solely rely on the library for my reading fix. Hardest. Thing. Ever. Third, I don’t buy very many prepared foods. I make most things from scratch. I also eat a lot of beans and rice. Beans and rice are healthy and fairly inexpensive. You can buy both in bulk. We have beans of some sort several times a week. For example, Saturday we had pinto beans for lunch and lentil soup for dinner. No meat at either meal. Meat is expensive and we eat it about once a day max. Speaking of meat, we hardly ever eat chicken. Our friends farm chickens and they don’t eat chicken. They told us why. Now we don’t eat chicken that isn’t tofu disguised as chicken. If you want to know why you shouldn’t eat chicken, I’ll tell you. We do eat beef. We are beef farmers. The FDA has gotten so strict with the beef processing, it’s actually cleaner than chicken. Don’t tell me a damn thing about pork. I want to gleefully stuff my face with bacon. I beg you not to ruin that for me. Fourth, you can’t save a lot of money eating out. So, knock it off. Eat in. Your heart will thank you later. Fifth, I rarely buy new. If I’m on a strict budget, I don’t buy new. At all. You can buy designer clothes that haven’t been worn very much at all on ebay. You can buy these very expensive clothes at a steal. If designer clothes mean little to you, buy at Walmart or Target. I know you’ll hate to hear this but Walmart’s clothes actually last longer than Target’s. Tragic, right? If I do buy new clothes, I buy them on sale at deep markdowns. I’ll get a $500 suit for $110. Or a $60 top for $4. A classically styled suit will last several years if it is of good quality and is worth paying a little extra for if your job requires suiting. Sixth, don’t buy a new car. Stop your sputtering. You heard me. Don’t do it. Cars immediately depreciate in value. If you do your research and really look, you can find awesome used cars for next to nothing. Next to nothing! If you buy a car, new or used, pay cash for it. Don’t finance it. Car payments are an albatross. Seventh, do not finance a vacation. I know people that charge the costs of vacationing. Dude. If you can’t afford to go, have a staycation. We spend our vacations at the local lake. We pack PB&J sandwiches, homemade tea and fruit, grab a blanket and head to the state park. We swim, we sun, we hike for the low low cost of a $30 a year park pass. If we do go away for vacation, we go in the off season. My husband negotiates a hotel rate at the hotel’s front desk when we get there. We have spent as much as an hour negotiating with several hotel managers til we found a rate we could afford. While on vacation, we will eat out one meal a day and save half for lunch the next day. We breakfast at the hotel. Food costs are typically $25 a day for the two of us. That includes tips. I tip 20%. Servers work hard. Eighth, if you have extra money, put it toward your mortgage. If you make more payments early in the mortgage, it will really decrease the length of your loan. A Mortgage Attorney taught me that. He wasn’t cute or sweet. He was old and humorless. I trust old and humorless Mortgage Attorney. Ninth, prepare for your retirement early. Have a strategy in place. Trust me, you can’t live on social security. You need IRAs, 401ks or SOMETHING. (I decided on rental properties.) Tenth, have fun. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Don’t try and keep up with your friend’s or neighbor’s spending. It’s silly. Remember, once you are debt free, you can determine how you want to spend the extra money you were once paying out to credit card companies, car loan thieves and mortgage banks. Just remember, if you can’t pay cash for it, don’t buy it. Otherwise, you’ll be right back where you started. The above post is based only on my personal experience. I have no financial background or training. I’m just a simple country girl. In fact, right now, I’m wearing gingham. So take all of my advice with a grain of salt and research for yourself the best way to manage your money. I am only responsible for my finances and can’t be responsible for yours. The state won’t let me. They are so strict! First off, let me tell you that I do not carry a balance on my credit card. That’s right. I said card. I also said that I don’t carry a balance. I have a credit card from Amazon. I have a mad love for Amazon. The Amazon card is provided by Chase. Recently I bought some auto parts from a company in Atlanta. The auto parts I bought were big and pricey. I paid for them using my Amazon card. As soon as the charge crossed my card, I paid it. I ordered, I paid, I waited for my parts. My parts didn’t show up. Imagine my displeasure. No. Go ahead. Imagine my displeasure. I’ll wait while you do. *files nails* So I call the parts company. I’m told they will not send me my parts because my billing address doesn’t match what the credit card company has on file. Scott, the clerk, tells me to call the Chase and resolve the issue. I call Chase. I get some dude from India. Now. I will admit. I’m bitter that so many customer service jobs are outsourced. See? I don’t HAVE a job. But I was nice. It’s not the dude from India’s fault I don’t have a job and he does. He probably does it better than I would. Ok. He doesn’t but I feel charitable. The dude from India tells me my address is correct in the system. Take THAT Parts Company. But when I called the Parts Company back, they tell me too bad so sad. The problem is NOT theirs and that until Chase calls THEM, I can kiss those parts goodbye. You can gnash your teeth in solidarity with me. I’ll wait. *pops jaw* Right about now you are thinking, GIRL, get a new parts company. I totally would but I could only find this part in one place in the entire US. For REAL. I would have to pay $500 shipping if I went anywhere else. Welcome to the world of import luxury cars. So I called back Chase. This time I got a chick from India. I explained my problem and was flatly told to forget it. No one from Chase would be calling the Parts Company. I sweetly asked her to please do this for me. Sweetness either doesn’t work in India or maybe it just doesn’t work with this particular Indian chick. I asked twice and was flatly refused both times. I then asked for her supervisor. She gleefully told me that the supervisor would tell me the same thing. I expect she thought that would shut me down and I’d crawl away in shame. She thought wrong. I said, “I want to speak to your supervisor.” I’m not very verbal when I am pissed off. Write that down. You may need that in the future. *hands over a pen and paper* The supervisor came on the phone almost immediately. His name is Matt. He is located here in the US. (I’ll explain why this is important later.) His first words were, “How can I help you.” I told him and OMG he DID IT. He conferenced me in on the call to the Parts Company. He confirmed that they suck and that the problem is THEIRS! He was matter of fact and professional. He didn’t actually tell them they sucked. He was too white collar for that. He is a credit to Chase Credit Card Services. (Get it? CREDIT? harharhar!) Matt is my credit card service hero. I want to have his babies. Which since he is here in the US, it would be entirely possible for Matt and I have a future together. Luckily for Matt and sadly for me, I have no eggs so poor Matt has no need to worry that I’ll show up on his front steps. See, I am willing to forsake a future with the calm and stoic Matt so that he may have the baby that I’m sure he’s always dreamed of. The Parts Company is overnighting my parts. The LEAST they can do! I have Matt’s number. He gave it out. He may come to regret that decision. (KIDDING Matt!) Seriously, I was impressed by the professionalism of Matt at Chase Credit Card Services. I will keep my Chase Amazon card. Although I never shared this information with any of the Chase employees, my keeping the Chase Amazon card was totally dependent on the outcome of today’s calls. I don’t have a balance. I have a choice. If you have credit card balances and want to eliminate this debt, I’ll be happy to tell you how I became debt free. I am a sharer of knowledge. If you want Matt’s number, forget it. I’m selfish man hoarder. If you want a luxury import car, I’ll hook you up. I’m a selfless and giving in a totally Melanie Hamilton way. |
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