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You may or may not be aware that there is a Parallel Universe. There is. It’s not like the parallel universes you see on the Sci-Fi channel or read about in science fiction/fantasy novels. You’ll note those are FICTION. I’m talking about FACT, mes bébés! The Parallel Universe runs concurrent with ours [...] I’ve always lived under the philosophy that if two is good, four is better. It’s served me well. Until today. Today it let me down. It let me down HARD! I am, admittedly, slightly bent today. Maybe it’s an estrogen surge. Maybe a testosterone burst. Maybe I’m just in [...] When I pass a mirror or see my reflection in a glass door, I am always startled. I think, ‘Who is that short, fat, brunette giving me a hateful look?’ Then I realize I’m the short, fat, brunette. See? In my mind, I’m tall, thin and blond. Yeah. Weird, right? What is really weird is that [...] If you knew me when I was in school, you’ll snort when you read this: I am an awesome house cleaner. Seriously. Although I never liked cleaning and balked at cleaning as a child and young woman, after I married I discovered I’m good at it. Cleaning appeals to my OCD. OCD [...] I never learned my left from my right. I know, right? I have a theory. See. I started taking ballet lessons when I was 3 years old. We practiced in front of mirrors. Could that be why? Or. Because I was so young when I began ballet, none of us knew our left from our [...] The entire time I was at Mama’s house this cow never moved, moo’d or acknowledged my presence. She is clearly being passive aggressive. What? See this? It looks like a mango, right? Well, I thought it was a mango. I grabbed it up. Ready to slice and nom. It was too light weight to be a mango. It rattled when I shook it. It is a gourd that Mama painted to look like a mango. Who does that? *weeps* No mango for me. New Year’s Eve means different things to different people. Since alcohol makes me ill, I don’t go out on New Year’s Eve. I stay in. Watch a little tv. Listen to Kitty Chesney complain about how all of his friends go out. You know. Stuff like that. Since I’m not going out, [...] Addison celebrated Christmas at my in-laws on Sunday. My nieces, SIL and BIL bought her a onesie and some new bibs. She was held by all of my nieces and got lots of love and affection. She was very good and slept through all of the fun and chaos. (I m giggling because we [...] |
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