I have spent a LOT of time considering what sort of banner I wanted for my website. In fact, I spent MONTHS deciding what format I wanted to use for this site but I knew I wanted a custom banner.
Banners say a lot about the site. Allowing a stock banner to represent Mean Marie was just too appalling for words. There is nothing ‘stock’ or ‘basic’ about me.
I wanted art to represent me. Not clip art. Not there is nothing wrong with clip art. I just prefer actual art.
You’re not surprised by this are you? You are? Don’t you know me at all? Keep reading and you’ll know me so well I’ll give you nightmares and insomnia.
I have insomnia. We can hang out together in the wee hours of the morning. What? You don’t want insomnia? Then I suggest you follow up my memoirs with a visit to www.amazon.com to take your mind off the strangeness that is me.
I know. I got off track. We were talking about banners for http://meanmarie.com weren’t we? Banner art. Remember? Caught back up? Good. Let’s move on.
The banner I have up now is a Linda Anderson oil pastel on paper. I love the dichotomy between the innocent and adorable baby chicks and the wicked and dark cat.
Guess which one represents Mean Marie. Go ahead. You know in your secret heart the answer. My feelings won’t be hurt. Unless you are EAGER to share your guess. Best to keep your guess to yourself. In fact, I highly recommend it.
The day my new website went live I showed it to Mama. She loved that I picked her art for my banner. However, she thought she could do something that might be MORE representative of me. She got to work painting a custom Mean Marie banner.
Can I say I am TOTALLY excited? Cause I am. WICKED excited. (Using ‘wicked’ just like my friend Shannon Stacey . Shannon is an awesome writer from a really cold place where people use ‘wicked’ in place of ‘very’. This really cold place where Shannon lives loses their Dairy Queen during the winter. It’s the saddest thing ever.)
So. I was at Mama’s house on Sunday and got a peek at the new banner in progress. Oh. My.
Mama had painted Mean Marie lounging on a fainting couch. Naked. Yes. I said naked. *big eyes*
On Monday I got the courage to talk to Mama about the new banner. Not that I was worried that Mama would be mad at me. I was worried that she would think I was bourgeoise. Which I kinda am. But kinda not. I’m perpetually conflicted.
As I explained to Mama, this website is rated PG. Sorta. Not that the banner was gross or R rated or whatever. Art is art. You can’t rate it.
I just don’t want to offend anyone. Not that I think y’all would be offended. I know you wouldn’t. I just don’t want to get into trouble with Google. It was Google that I sorta made a promise to keep this content PG.
Mama is painting a bustier and a skirt onto Mean Marie. I think y’all will like it. It’ll be our little secret that Mean Marie is naked under her ensemble.
Try not to think of that when my new banner goes live. Try really hard to forget that Mean Marie was buck naked before her bustier and skirt was painted on.
Stark naked. Naked as a jaybird. Wearing her birthday suit. In the raw. Au natural.
I’m sure you’ll have no problem forgetting this little incident. Just put it out of your mind. If you can’t, I suggest you go over to www.amazon.com and shop for hot cocoa makers. (My friend Angela James introduced me to the wonder that is the hot cocoa maker.)
The hot cocoa will help soothe you when the nightmares come.
I’m trying to HELP.
If you would like, we can forget this conversation ever happened. I’ll never bring it up again. Unless I forget that I’m supposed to forget. That happens to me sometimes.
I promise to do my best!
(currently not naked)